


The Boy From Smithville

by guys_should_kiss_guys_more



Category: Original Work
Genre: Drag Queens, Family Drama, Family Issues, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:54:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23966464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guys_should_kiss_guys_more/pseuds/guys_should_kiss_guys_more
Summary: Smithville. A small town that only the locals know even exists. That town was a red dot in a blue state, meaning that the town was primarily republican and conservative, even though, the town is in a primarily democratic state which is very liberal.  About ninety-nine percent of the town belonged to some religious organization and went to services over the weekend. That’s where I grew up, and left, after being saved.Before I get any further, my name is Sean. I’m twenty-two now, fresh out of college, just accepted my dream job at a Tech firm, and have a boyfriend. But I’ll get to that later. Let me take you back to Smithville when I was in middle school. A bit of background first, Smithville had been my home since I was born. I had never experienced anything different, so this is all I know. I only knew the heteronormative, cis-gender life. But that is about to crack.
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my final paper for a college creative writing class, back in Summer 2019. I've sat on this work for a while, and I hope you enjoy.

“Middle School, the most awkward part of growing up,” I said to myself on the bus to my first day of Middle School. Arriving at the old brick building, that was falling apart. I was 5 foot nothing back then, with brown hair and nerd glasses, like Spencer Reid wears. I was scrawny back then, and nothing to really defend myself with.

I was worried about what was going to happen to me. I knew this was part of growing up, but was it normal? Did every other kid feel like this? I knew that my brothers had girlfriends by the end of sixth grade, but that didn’t appeal to me. I wasn’t really attracted to anyone. That changed later that week. By the end of my first gym class in sixth grade, I was attracted to boys. I froze at some point in the locker room. To the point where the gym teacher was about to get smelling salts. Once I came too, I ran.

I ran to my confidant. My homeroom teacher, Mr. Matthews, he looked somewhere between Matthew Morrison, and Chris Colfer. I knew something was different about him, **like me**. By the time I had made it to his door, apparently the school had activated stay-in-place. I couldn’t enter any room, or leave the building. I guess I was in my own world trying to get to him. The principal broke me out of daze, and I explained the situation, leaving out the attracted to boys part. Mr. Matthews was my councilor at the school, and I had already known him from before the school year had even started. I was able to talk to Mr. Matthews, and tell him the full story. He explained everything to me.

“I experienced something similar when I was around your age,” he said. “Are you only attracted to boys?”

“I’ve never been attracted to anyone before today,” I said nervously. “Neither girls or boys.”

“Okay,” he said thoughtfully. “What I’m about to say, stays between us, for your safety in this small town.”

“I understand,” I said, expecting something scary to be said.

“You fall under a sexual minority,” he explained. “Being only attracted to boys, is called ‘being gay.’ You don’t want to openly tell anyone until you are sure they won’t harm you. If you tell your parents, it is likely you might get disowned,” he said sadly, as he choked back tears. He then gave me what he called an emergency pass, allowing me to talk to him if I ever had some sort of breakdown. I didn’t think I would need to use it soon, but then Sunday Morning Mass happened.


	2. Chapter 2

Every Sunday Morning, we need to be at the church by eight-thirty to socialize before the nine o’clock service. Therefore, I had to be up by 7am, so that I could have breakfast and get ready. I felt distant that Sunday. The deacon noticed this in me, and he could tell that I needed someone to talk to. After mass, he asked if we could talk, and he thought that I was more distant than usual. I explained the situation to him, and he told me the church’s stance on this.

“It is most likely a phase, Sean,” he said. “If you still feel this way in a few years, all this means is that you were called to a life of chastity. Sean, I need you to understand …”

“That I’m going to hell?” I asked tearfully.

“NO!” he exclaimed. “You were given this cross to bear. God knows that you can handle it. My door is always open if you need to talk.”

I left his office not long after that conversation, when my Mother knocked on his office door. I later took to Google to search what chastity meant, long story short, I’d be a virgin my whole life. That did not appeal to me, and I started balling my eyes out. I won’t be able to find true love, my soulmate, the right person for me. I remember crying, and thinking God wouldn’t give me something is painful to have to deal with. That I already had enough to deal with.

“You need to end it,” A voice in my head said, but it seemed to materialize in my room. A Jesus looking figure.

“What?” I asked the Jesus figure.

“I gave you too much, kill yourself and I can re-create you,” it said.

“I have school in the morning, I need to sleep. We can discuss this tomorrow.” And I went to sleep. The next day as I’m getting on to the bus, I hear something start to become clearer in my mind.

“Do it,” the voice of the Jesus figure said. All of the bus ride, homeroom and my first period. Until,

“STOP,” I scream in the middle of my class. “STOP TALKING TO ME. GET OUT OF MY MIND.” By this time, Mr. Matthews was in the classroom trying to coax me out of my daze.

Sean,” he said. “Talk to me, what’s going on?”

“God is telling me to kill myself,” I said panicked. “He said that he gave me to much to bear.” I don’t remember much after that. I remember being loaded on to an ambulance, being taken to the hospital, and being in the safe-guarded unit. My parents were there, trying to understand what happened and what Mr. Matthews was telling him. He later told me that while the medication knocked me out, he had to tell my parents my secret.


	3. Chapter 3

Shortly after this incident, I was moved to the youth mental hospital in the big city, where everyone went for High School. My parents never visited, only my eldest brother Steve – that had moved out when he left for college, and never came back – and Mr. Matthews. My parents never came. I only thought they were busy with work and church and couldn’t make it up to the city. I was furious at Mr. Matthews for telling my parents our secret, **my secret**. I wouldn’t talk to him the first view times he came to visit. I would just have my headphones on, plugged in to the music channel on the TV in my room, or write on the typewriter that the hospital had built into my room, back in the 40s, and I had to have the nurse’s aide write in the A’s and the T’s. But I cried when Steve came into the room. I hadn’t seen him since we celebrated his graduation from college.

“Sean,” I heard behind my back from a familiar voice. “I wish I could’ve prevented this.” I turned around and saw a businessman, but I could see Steve underneath. He looks somewhat like Matt Bomer.

“Steve!” I exclaimed, running to hug him. I had not seen my best friend and my role model for 4 years. Being crushed didn’t begin to describe the feelings I had when my parent’s cut-off our contact. “I missed you,” I muttered into his chest.

“I missed you too, squirt,” he said. He led me back to my bed and we chatted for the next few hours, then I remember what he said when he first came into my room.

“What did you mean by ‘I wish I could’ve prevented this,” I asked him confused.

“Sean, I’m gay too,” he said shocking me. “I came out to Mom and Dad as soon as I was stable. They told me I wasn’t their son anymore, and to stop contacting you. I talked to Mr. Matthews when I was in eighth grade, and he told me that you had the same conversation. I wish I could’ve been there for you.”

“Steve, Mom and Dad told you not to contact me,” I said. “There was nothing you could do. Can I live with you when I get out of here?”

“I’m not sure,” he said. “They still have a right to you.”

“But I don’t feel safe there,” I said, as someone was walking in.

“That’s all I need to hear,” she said. “I’m Janine, your DCF case manager.” Janine looked like she could be Sara Bareilles’ twin.

“Hi Janine, didn’t think I’d see you here,” Steve said.

“They moved me to Smithville cases, apparently parents don’t treat their kids right there.”

“What’s happening?” I asked confused.

“I worked Janine in court,” Steve said. “Figures, I graduate law school, and work at one of the biggest firms, and they don’t tell you anything.”

“Sean, I’m here to put in the best living arrangements, so this doesn’t happen again.” She said. “Your parents want you back in their house,” Janine said.

“No, No, No, No,” I repeat like it’s a chant, beginning to have a panic attack. Janine runs out to get the nurses, and Steve gets kicked out of the room. “I … need … Steve,” I said between breaths, trying to break free of the nurses. Then suddenly I’m dreaming.


	4. Chapter 4

On the morning of March Third, I was in a suit, and leaving the hospital with Steve and Janine. Today is the day, I have to try and convince a Judge that living with Steve would be the best for me. I’ve made progress since the first time I saw Steve. I had been officially diagnosed with Asperger's, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression. The medication they gave me was helping, and I haven’t had a panic attack since.

“This should be cut and dry,” Janine said. “Your environment caused this, and it was one-hundred percent preventable.”

“If you need a break squirt, let one of us know,” Steve said. “Something like this can be extremely triggering. 

I remember the court case like it was a TV court case. We arrived at the fancy and huge courthouse, that looked like the courthouse in _Law and Order: SVU_. We walked up the steps, and I somehow felt safe. Knowing that Steve knew his way around, might’ve helped. The courtroom was small, set up like a TV court room. Somehow, we ended up with a judge who looked like she could be Judge Judy’s sister. I don’t remember much of the case, only a few things. Our parents were shocked to see Steve. I guess they didn’t keep up the fact that he was a lawyer. Steve also got my parents plans for me, if I went home to them.

“What is your plan to keep Sean safe?” he asked.

“He will be going to a boarding school in New York, that caters to children with his issues,” Our Dad said.

“Who runs this school?” Steve asked.

“Courage International,” Dad said.

“Oh, so it’s an ex-gay ministry,” Steve said, turning. “Your honor, let the record show that the parents of Sean, only care about their _precious_ status in their church, rather than their own flesh and blood. And submit Sean to a sexual orientation conversion ministry.” Janine and Mr. Matthews only boosted the doubt that our parents couldn’t take care of me. The judge ruled for me to be with Steve, but something else was added. 

“I find that Sean would be best suited to be placed with his brother Steve,” she said. “I also find that DCF should investigate the other children in the household, and determine if they are safe living there.” After this Steve took me out for lunch, and we discussed a few things.

“I live in a one-bedroom apartment right now, with my partner,” Steve said. “He should be here shortly to meet you.”

“Ok, tell me about him,” I said.

“He is a Computer Science teacher in one of the high schools in the city,” Steve said. “He’s … the best. He is the person I always pictured myself with.”

“Steve, I this Sean?” I heard a deep voice ask. I turned to see a guy that looked like Zachary Quinto.

“Yeah, this is him,” Steve said. “He’s going to be living with us, after he is officially released from the hospital. We might be getting Scott too.”

“Hi Sean, my name is Paul,” he said, introducing himself. He then sits down next to Steve. “I’ve been with this knuckle-head for the past 2 years,” Paul said jokingly pushing Steve.

“It’s nice to meet you,” I said, and a pregnant pause fell upon us. We ordered our food, and another long pause took place until Paul broke it.

“So, Sean, what are your interests?” he said

“Well,” I pondered. “I love writing music and singing, even though mom and dad never let me, even in church. I also like coding, but I don’t know much.”

“Paul can definitely help you with that,” Steve said.

Our lunch was served immediately after this occurred, and it took me a minute to process that neither Paul nor Steve would be saying grace like we did at home. I mean, my _old_ home. I felt free, finally after 11 years of being locked in that religious hell.


	5. Chapter 5

A month after the court case, I was released from the hospital to Steve and Paul. They took me to their, I mean our, new townhouse. The house was gorgeous, with an open concept first floor with a half bathroom, and three bedrooms on the second floor, with another bathroom, and I guess they have one in their master bedroom.

“So, Sean, what do you think?” Steve asked.

“How can you afford a place like this?” I asked in reply. “The parents had a house falling apart in Smithville, and you have a house like this in the heart of the city.”

“Sean, I work at one of the biggest law firms in the country, as a partner.” Steve said. “I am able to choose what cases I want to take, and I make a good amount of money. Enough so, that I gave Paul’s school a brand-new computer lab.” I was in shock. I didn’t know Steve was rich. I stood in shock for a minute before I caught myself.

“Good thing the parents didn’t find about this,” I said. “They would have milked it to show-off at church.” We settled in very quickly into our new home. Before long, I was registered for school at Central Public Charter School. It didn’t hurt that Paul worked there, and drove me into school the first day, calming my nerves.

The school was different, and that’s putting it lightly. The school is in what used to be a giant store, and has about thirty thousand square feet, of just learning space. The school was huge to say the least and was a culture shock to see a building that big, being used as a school. Paul quickly explained that each academy has ten thousand square feet, and that the space further brakes down based on grade. Sixth Grade was in the Middle Academy, or Main Street Academy, as it was in the middle of the building. Paul brought me to my new homeroom teacher, and I met the other students. The class had only 10 students in it, and I was excited to get the attention I needed from the teacher, that I never got in Smithville.   
  


However, the first week of classes was testing my grade level on everything, and I was ranked fourth grade at best. But I was able to overcome this in the next two months, with one-on-one instruction. I even was ranked over grade level with what I had learned in the one-on-one classes! I was then moved back to regular classes and made high honor roll. Something I had only dreamed about in Smithville. 


	6. Chapter 6

The summer came and went quickly. My little brother Scott was finally living with us, after waiting almost six months. I was, and still am, happy to say, that The Parents no longer have any kids in their custody. And that they rarely even show face at church anymore. But enough about them. Something amazing to me happened.

“Sean, what do you think about enrolling at the Advanced Academy?” Steve asked approaching me.

“The advanced program at school?” I asked back.

“Yes,” Paul replied. “You would be in more advanced classes, with about six classmates, and you could potentially graduate a year or two early.”

“Do you think I would survive?” I asked nervously. Ever since that incident, in Smithville, I had tried not to be different than my classmates. “I don’t want to be different,” I mumbled.

“Sean, listen to me an…” Paul said.

“And listen good,” Steve said finishing his sentence, laughing under his breath.

“Everyone is afraid to be different,” Paul said, slightly annoyed at Steve. “Especially at your age. But at some point, as if by magic, it is good to be different.”

“Take this opportunity, and if doesn’t work, you can move back to Main Street,” Steve said.

“Okay,” I said, “I’ll do it.” I never regretted it. I was class valedictorian, graduating a year early, and I was accepted into my dream college, MIT.


	7. Epilogue

MIT had been my dream, and I just graduated with a 3.99 GPA, and was the salutatorian. I just got a job offer at Microsoft and I would be close to the family. And by family, I mean my chosen family, Steve, Paul, and of course Scott. But remember when I mentioned, my cis-gender life was about to crack?

It did last year, I dressed in drag for the first time, and it was the most freeing experience of my life. It was funny seeing my family at my last week. They had no idea it was me, until I hopped into my normal voice. Their faces were priceless. Because of drag, I now wear makeup just about every day, starting as something subtle, and now I really can’t tell which gender I am when I have makeup on. I am finally free of the restraints I was born with, and I couldn’t be prouder of how far I had come.

The biggest surprise I found without the restraints, was Billy. I met Billy at a drag show, he tipped me a fiver, and something clicked when I saw him. A few acts later, I bought him a drink, and we clicked even more. We started dating, and we quickly became boyfriends. We moved in about a year ago, and it’s been perfect ever since, except my drag closet. He’s laughing over my shoulder, as I write this. He should go digging in my sock draw for something … and he said yes!


End file.
